Post by raxephon on Nov 12, 2007 21:18:28 GMT -8
To keep the worst part short...but give you a general idea of why I'm posting this and what's going on.... One year ago my "best friend" whom I dedicated a year of my life to and stood up for them countless times against plenty of my old friends (who now hate me because of it...), tried to keep their hopes up and to help them make a new life for themselves after the terrible childhood and life they'd had thus far, stabbed me in the back terribly. She told my closest friends a bunch of bullshit lies about me and turned them against me. Made me lose my job and my life altogether...
For the past year I've been paranoid, introverted, depressed, angry, and alone. Well in September, after nine months of that I decided it was time to stop moping and get out and make new friends. I DID still talk to some of my old friends and tried to repair my friendships with them but I know that they only planned on screwing me again so I altogether ditched them and try to avoid talking or hanging out with them when I can. But back onto the point...I got in contact again with an old friend from my freshman year of high school who I hadn't talked to since then, and decided to help them start up an anime meetup group.
This was in hopes of meeting new people and making new friends so I could break away from the pain of what had happened previously... Well after 9 months of damn near complete seclusion from most of the world I'm pretty paranoid and nervous still. Though I am able to have a conversation with them, I tend to be quiet most of the time anyway. Because honestly, after 9 months of what I went through I don't have much of anything interesting to say, so I just listen and try to get along as best as I can. But I think due to the fact that I'm so quiet a lot of the time, and tend to pay close attention to people's body language (the paranoid part of me keeps making me think they're laughing at me and thinking of how to make fun of me. So I want to see it coming and be ready for a personal attack anytime...pathetic I know...) I've come off as a big weirdo and that they don't really like to be around me...
I'm pretty sure one of them thinks I'm a rapist because of they way they glared at me a couple times and the fact that they try not to talk to me... Honestly though it's just that I've been so introverted for so long... I WANT to be talkative and fun to be around, and I WANT to fit into a group again... but after the blow I took and the nine months that followed of self-defeating lies and self-contemplation, and paranoia, etc. it's hard to not come off as a weirdo because I'm not used to being in groups anymore... It's just depressing and it seems so hopeless that I'll ever make new friends and be happy again... Can anyone give me some helpful advice...or is anyone a psycologist on here XP.
For the past year I've been paranoid, introverted, depressed, angry, and alone. Well in September, after nine months of that I decided it was time to stop moping and get out and make new friends. I DID still talk to some of my old friends and tried to repair my friendships with them but I know that they only planned on screwing me again so I altogether ditched them and try to avoid talking or hanging out with them when I can. But back onto the point...I got in contact again with an old friend from my freshman year of high school who I hadn't talked to since then, and decided to help them start up an anime meetup group.
This was in hopes of meeting new people and making new friends so I could break away from the pain of what had happened previously... Well after 9 months of damn near complete seclusion from most of the world I'm pretty paranoid and nervous still. Though I am able to have a conversation with them, I tend to be quiet most of the time anyway. Because honestly, after 9 months of what I went through I don't have much of anything interesting to say, so I just listen and try to get along as best as I can. But I think due to the fact that I'm so quiet a lot of the time, and tend to pay close attention to people's body language (the paranoid part of me keeps making me think they're laughing at me and thinking of how to make fun of me. So I want to see it coming and be ready for a personal attack anytime...pathetic I know...) I've come off as a big weirdo and that they don't really like to be around me...
I'm pretty sure one of them thinks I'm a rapist because of they way they glared at me a couple times and the fact that they try not to talk to me... Honestly though it's just that I've been so introverted for so long... I WANT to be talkative and fun to be around, and I WANT to fit into a group again... but after the blow I took and the nine months that followed of self-defeating lies and self-contemplation, and paranoia, etc. it's hard to not come off as a weirdo because I'm not used to being in groups anymore... It's just depressing and it seems so hopeless that I'll ever make new friends and be happy again... Can anyone give me some helpful advice...or is anyone a psycologist on here XP.