Mister Mouse
Si on devait mourir demain, qu'est-ce que tu ferais?
Nibbles: 790
Crackin' since: September 2007
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Post by Mister Mouse on Sept 24, 2007 10:41:13 GMT -8
Howdy y'all. First, I'm going to say that while this topic isn't exactly NEW to me, it is important none-the-less.
I don't know how many of you are bi-sexual, bi-curious, lesbian, gay, or transgender, but I think this is an important topic.
Mainly, I'd like this to be a place for those who have come out to discuss their stories and trade advice and such. A place for those thinking about coming out to get advice. A place for us to discuss our fears, hopes, and thoughts about this particular subject.
I also believe that since I am asking others to share, it is only right for me to share as well ~>
Coming out to friends and to family can be two extremely different experiences - I should know. I came out willingly to my friends... with my family I was more "dragged out".
When I first came out to my friends it was two-three years ago, and I remember the time because it was when I was first admitting to myself that I like girls - or one girl in particular, rather... my friend Krim. Anyways; seeking guidance, I came out to a couple of my friends, Lizard and CareBear - they didn't seem surprised at all. Anyways, I ended up coming out to the rest of my friends a couple weeks later and they all pretty much had the same reaction. I was accepted by most of them and those who didn't accept me lost a friend. I don't regret a bit of that at all.
When I came out to my family, it was a completely different story. My mother was snooping around one evening when she took my diary (which was hidden... completely...). She managed to break it open and, after reading it, she brought me into the room. I spent the next hour being yelled at by both my mother and my father. My father hates me to this day and the only time he speaks to me he yells at me and my mother refuses to speak to me unless it is necessary. It hurts me to think that any parent would do that to their child, but all situations are different - and I'd love to hear other peoples' stories.
Please, if you want to come out and need advice, feel free to post. If you have come out and want to share your story and your wisdom, feel free to join in. If you'd just like to comment, please do. All comments are appreciated and welcome. ^-^
Thanks, ~Ylime~
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xeno|oreo
.:Nutcase-In-Chief:.
Nibbles: 5,073
Crackin' since: August 2004
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Post by xeno|oreo on Sept 24, 2007 15:39:20 GMT -8
That's really sad that your parents would act that way to you Seriously... why can't they just accept you for the way you are?
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Mister Mouse
Si on devait mourir demain, qu'est-ce que tu ferais?
Nibbles: 790
Crackin' since: September 2007
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Post by Mister Mouse on Sept 24, 2007 15:54:51 GMT -8
Because they are conservative asses who were brought up conforming to the same rules I rebelled against? That may be why... -shrugs- Just a thought.
Because I'm different, that's why.
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xeno|oreo
.:Nutcase-In-Chief:.
Nibbles: 5,073
Crackin' since: August 2004
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Post by xeno|oreo on Sept 24, 2007 15:56:15 GMT -8
Hehehe... When my dad was young, he got frequently beaten by nuns for being different
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Mister Mouse
Si on devait mourir demain, qu'est-ce que tu ferais?
Nibbles: 790
Crackin' since: September 2007
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Post by Mister Mouse on Sept 24, 2007 16:11:51 GMT -8
Ooh... well then, I guess it's a good thing I didn't grow up around abusive nuns, ne?
Then again... I can't even remember my childhood, so we don't even KNOW what I grew up around...
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-=Xavyn=-
Nibbles: 100
Crackin' since: October 2006
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Post by -=Xavyn=- on Sept 24, 2007 17:36:55 GMT -8
My childhood wasn't exactly a pile of crap, but it wasn't a cakewalk either. And yes, nuns are very scary. Catholic school is a very good place to avoid. That school probably gave me more scars than you two combined. (There's something to think about. ^^) But, seriously... that is really awful. Parents that conservative really shouldn't exist. Sadly, they do. Hooray for society.
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Mister Mouse
Si on devait mourir demain, qu'est-ce que tu ferais?
Nibbles: 790
Crackin' since: September 2007
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Post by Mister Mouse on Sept 24, 2007 17:59:28 GMT -8
Society is a bitch man... society is a bitch. -nods-
Unfortunately, we have to put up with society in order to live our lives...
~Mi~
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Post by April on Sept 24, 2007 20:06:08 GMT -8
I agree that parents like that shouldn't exist at all. Being different and unique is a beautiful thing. I think that you should always stay true to who you are, and not what anyone else ("society", parents, etc..) wants you to be. One of my best friends back when I was younger experienced pretty much the same thing you have described. I've known her since 8th grade and she was always the nicest person in the world to me. She didn't "come out" until around the end of her junior year of high school..I remember that she and I would have these talks about relationships. She could never understand why in every relationship she had with a guy, she felt nothing towards him. I remember even more clearly, it was when Vertical Horizon's song "Everything You Want" was popular, and she would tell me that that song perfectly described her relationships, particularly the chorus: (( "He's everything you want He's everything you need He's everything inside of you That you wish you could be He says all the right things At exactly the right time But he means nothing to you And you don't know why.." )) And when she finally realized why she felt this way, alot of our other friends slowly just stopped hanging out with her. It always made me mad, because it's not like she started being a completely different person.. she was the same best friend that I'd known since 8th grade. I'd always try to keep our little group of friends together because we always had so much fun.. but after that, things just weren't the same.. and it took me awhile to realize that it never would be again. I stuck by her though, because she was more of a friend to me than any of those shallow ones who simply didn't want to give her a chance. Somewhere throughout the years after graduation, we lost touch.. mainly because she got involved with the wrong group of friends and got heavily into drugs and alcohol..and she pretty much changed into a different person... but I miss the old her sometimes. She always looked out for me and was there whenever I needed her..like a sister that I always wished I had. (I only have an older brother) But anyway.. wow this turned out longer than I'd planned..
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Mister Mouse
Si on devait mourir demain, qu'est-ce que tu ferais?
Nibbles: 790
Crackin' since: September 2007
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Post by Mister Mouse on Sept 25, 2007 6:12:51 GMT -8
Mm. I was actually pretty lucky in my group of friends - very few left... mainly because a couple of them had already "come out" and there were several others who would "come out" in the following years... somehow we all managed to flock into one group without realizing it. And the amusing thing is, no one outside of our group really thought we might be "different" until most of us participated in the Day of Silence... and then a couple of us are just too flamboyant ot ignore. ^-^ Personally, I used to be a mouse when it came to my sexuality... if someone questioned whether I was straight or not I'd just be quite and blend into the background... now, when girls shoot me untrusting looks in the locker rooms it's pretty much, "Yes, I like girls. No, I'm not staring at any of you. Get over yourselves and get changed - you're going to be late to class." Someone tries to make me feel inferior and I don't let them... I am who I am, and I'm not ashamed of it. I've had a few "relationships" with guys, and with maybe one of them I felt a connection... the others were just there and I was lonely. I, like your friend, couldn't ever really understand why I felt that way towards guys - why I loved them to Death, loved hanging out with them and shopping with them... but couldn't be in a relationship with them. That was around the time Krim came into my life - and she was openly out and not afraid of anything, seriously. I think her confidence slowly crept into me after a while and finally I just decided I needed to "come out". Perhaps that's why I liked her so much, because I knew she'd helped me where no one else had, maybe not. -shrugs- Still... even after she found out I liked her she stayed by my side - heck, she sits across from me at lunch now while xeno sits to my left... awesome people, really (yes, xeno that WAS a compliment). Anyways, things got worse for a little while after I "came out"... and on my firs Day of Silence participation, but afterwards things cooled down - or maybe I just stopped caring what other people thought - either way... things are a lot better now. I'm just glad I'm in a school where you're pretty much told "respect other peoples' differences, or be suspended - at the least". I hear people use the word "fag" in the hall a lot, even though it's not allowed, but I can tell them to shut up about it (politely, of course) and not expect any repercussions... if I hear someone say "That's so gay" and it bothers me, I can ask them to stop... that is, if a teacher doesn't first. Heck, Mr. Ognibene, one of our Bio and Chem teachers - a Teacher of the Year - is gay and he holds the Rainbow Alliance every wednesday. So if my home environment isn't all that accepting (or not accepting at all, save for my brother in DC), at least I was lucky enough to be born into an area where the schools are, the teachers are, and my friends are... ~Fly Free Fearless Fang!!!~ (Ooh... alliteration...) BTW: I think our posts are about the same length...
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xeno|oreo
.:Nutcase-In-Chief:.
Nibbles: 5,073
Crackin' since: August 2004
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Post by xeno|oreo on Sept 25, 2007 13:13:00 GMT -8
LMAO That's a... very good line But yes... our school is better than most.. in terms of bullying or harrassment in general... of course, it's sometime just overboard and stupid. IE Greg What's-His-Face getting a 3 month suspension for pantsing someone (pretty dumb... didn't even do the underwear ) But it's generally pretty good... And yes, that is pretty awesome that Mr. O. won NYS Teacher of the Year... but the again, he's friggen amazing. Totally deserved it ^^ Hey... he could still possibly when teacher of the year for the whole country too Hehehe... I remember day of silence. I still have my shirt.. (which I didn't wear yet... because I got it AFTER the event was over. Bad planning ) And of course... I screwed up a few times. This year I will hopefully be better... not talk for the whole day @april... aww... that's a sad story. How a lot of the 'friends' deserted her for such a minor reason... It's not like she did anything to them. Also sad that she ended up the way she did. I wonder if that initial rejection may have lead to that behavior at all? ... heh..
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Mister Mouse
Si on devait mourir demain, qu'est-ce que tu ferais?
Nibbles: 790
Crackin' since: September 2007
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Post by Mister Mouse on Sept 25, 2007 13:27:26 GMT -8
Glad you enjoyed that sentence. Yeah, that was a bit overboard... Mr. O is so awesome... he is the Queen of Awesomeness! ^-^ I've participated in the Day of Silence for the past two years, I will again this year. The first year I slipped up maybe twice... last year I was so pleased with myself, I didn't say ANYTHING until it was over. I was about ready to throw a party for myself... and then I had to make up a lab after school instead of eating cookies with all of y'all down at the GSA room. This year I will attempt to be down there for the after school party, though... I shall not miss hanging out with my friendlies!
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xeno|oreo
.:Nutcase-In-Chief:.
Nibbles: 5,073
Crackin' since: August 2004
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Post by xeno|oreo on Sept 25, 2007 13:29:22 GMT -8
I have chem in the GSA room now... unfortunately, not with Mr. O. But he's usually still in there, about to leave, when I go in ^^
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Post by April on Sept 25, 2007 13:31:04 GMT -8
Yeah it is sad, especially if you knew the kinda person she was before she got into all that. I mean, I still see some part of her as that same person, because I know if I called her right now saying that I needed her, she'd drop everything to be there for me.. but it's just not the same now that she's into all that crap. As for the rejection leading to that behavior? Well, in a literal sense, I guess you could say yes because she had to turn to a different group of friends (besides me, I was the only one who stuck by her from our "old" group of friends).. but I don't think she took their rejection that harshly.. she was a VERY independent person and she really didn't care what anyone else thought. I admired that about her. Of course, the friends I had in high school were all pretty two-faced. I found that out the hard way. In fact, that was pretty much how the whole school was—stuck-up, two-faced snobs... I hated it. There were only a select few people whom I could call true friends. and....what is Day of Silence?! I can take a literal guess at that, but just to make sure, explain please.
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Mister Mouse
Si on devait mourir demain, qu'est-ce que tu ferais?
Nibbles: 790
Crackin' since: September 2007
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Post by Mister Mouse on Sept 25, 2007 13:38:25 GMT -8
The Day of Silence is a day where people who are homosexual or support homosexuals stay silent for the day, in honour of all the people who have been harmed because of staying silent about who they are - or who have been harmed because they weren't silent. It is a day to support those who have died and those who are still struggling... and we're lucky enough to have a school that supports the day and allows us to participate in it.
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